Pappu: Papa aap Honeymoon me gaye the to mai kahan tha.
Pappu ka Papa: Beta jab gaye to mere pet me Aur aaye to mammi k pet me tha.

Santa was sukin girlfriend's breasts.
Gal got excited n said: Tussi hor kuch chahney ho?
Santa: Doodh naal biscuit milangey?

Ek pathan ki shaadi k 3 din baad uski patni boli, "Maine apse shaadi is liye ki hai ki humare bache hon, is liye nahi ki mujhe poty khul kar aaye".

Ek bahu saari raat paraaye mard k saath sokar aayi lekin uski saas ne kuch nahin kaha, why?
Kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi!!

Suhagrat k time darvaze pe dastak hoti hai toh dulhan bhag k parde k peeche chup jati hai.
Husband: Kya hua?
Dulhan: Mujhe laga police ki raid par gai.

Prince k 60 feet k hole se nikalne k baad usse pucha gaya "andar dar lag raha tha?" to usne kaha "ye to kuch bhi nahi 6 saal pahle to isse bhi chhote hole se nikla tha".

3 Fact of Life -1.Garib aur boobs hamesha dabte hai.
2.Musibat aur Lu#d kabhi bhi khada ho sakta hai.
3.Kismat aur bra kabhi bhi khul sakti hai.

Lady 2 Maid: Tu saare kaam mein bekaar hai!
Bai: Bister mein to aap se aachi hoon!
Lady: Tujhe sab ne bola kya?
Bai: Nahin, driver bol raha tha!

Boy to gal: Agar mai tumhe Kiss karun to tum kyaa sochogi?
gal: I think Ek bevkuf jo pura USA ghum sakta tha Airport se hi vapas gaya. 

Kehte hai:  "aurat k haath me barkat hoti hai!"
bilkul sahi hai, 3 inch ki cheez haath me do to,   9 inch ki kar deti hai

Ek sardar ulta nanga soya tha. Dusara admi aake sardar par tabla bajane lega, jab bajana band kiya to sardar palta aur bola, le ab BANSURI baja.  

In a party, a lady wanted to go to toilet. She said to Santa: Susu karne ki jagah dikhaao.
Santa: U naughty girl, pehle tum dikhaao. 

Man: Kiss Karun?
Gal: Lipstick kharab hogi.
Man: Boobs dabaun.?
Gal: T-shirt kharab hogi.?
Man: f~ck?
Gal: Period me hun.?
Man: Don't say loose motions hai.

Santa runing after a bus n, catches it n asks the Driver: Ye bus teri Ma lagti hai?
Nahin.
To kya Behan lagti hai?
Nahin.
To phir chadne kyun nahin deta?

Santa: Murge kaise diye?
Vendor: Rs 50, Rs 40 n Rs 10
Santa: Rs 10, itna sasta kyon?
Sir ise AIDS hai.
Santa: De do mujhe khana hai ga#d thodi marni hai!

Mirinda condom- jor ka jhatka dheere se lage!
Mrf condom- extra rubber extra mileage! 
Moov condom- ah se ahaa tak!
Pep c condom- yeh Dil mange more!  Coke condom- enjoying...

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Santa: My 8yr old son is very naughty, he has made my maid servant pregnant.
Confused Banta: How the hell?
Santa: He took a pin & punctured all my condoms.

Rail k patri par mat hagaa karo,
Train aayegi to Ga#d kat jaayega,
Abhi to haath se
Ga#d dhote ho,
baad me Ga#d se haath dho
baithoge !!!!!!!!!!

kuch log sirf 2 ghante kertay hain
kuch log 4 ghante karte hain
Aur kuch log to Puuri Puuri raat karte hain........
abe aapna mobile charge.........  

PAK wicket keeper MOIN got married,
His wife asked y the media how Moin was on wedding night.
She said he stood behind the bed & said
"AUR TEZ DALO WASIM BHAI"

Conductor: Bachche ka full ticket lagega!!
Village Lady: Yeh to abhi choochi peeway hai!
Conductor: Choochi to iska Baap bhi peeway hai, uska bhi adha legi!!!

A Sardar was urinating beside a car. A Foreigner said to him "
AAP K YAHAN POLICE NAHIN PAKADHTI ?"
He replied,"NAHIN HAMAARE YAHAN KHUD PAKADHNA PADHTA HAI !"

Jab Gabbar paida hua to uski maan ne usko 3-4 thappad lagaye.
Gabbar's Father: Kya baat ho gayi?
Mother: Kambakht paida hote hi pooch raha tha
KITNE AADMI THE.....!

Dad gajab ho gaya, bhai darwaja nahi! khol raha.
Dad: kal to uski suhagraat thi.
Son: Kal raat ko bhai ne cold cream mangi thi maine FEVICOL de diya bhul se.

A man phoned & asked: Hello, is it 221714?
Jeeto: Hindi me bolo.
Man:Do-Do-Ek-Sat Ch0da?
Jeeto: Nahi Sir, Teen-Teen-Ek-Sat Ch0da, 331714.

Teacher: kya cheez muh mein nahin leni chahiye. Student: jalta hua bulb Teacher: why Student: kal raat ko mummy papa se keh rahi thi "bulb bujha do to muh mein loongi" 

Agar Reliance condom banayega to slogan kya hoga ? Karlo ch~dai chutki mein . Mere papa ka sapna, sabki ch~t mein apna

What is the best family planning slogan on a municipal bus?
A: Kripaya aage se nahin peeche se chadhiye.

Pahle hath pe lo, fir sidha karo, fir muh me dalo, fir thuk lagao, fir ghosao.....
Kitna mushkil hai sui me dhaga dalna.

wat is the most sensitive part of the body during masturbation?
Ans:ur ears-listening 4 footsteps

NEWS FLASH: Our Cricket Team has a new Sponsor - "Stay Free Napkins". "Kyoki abhi team Bad Period se gujar rahi hai....."

Jeeto: Kal chor aya aur mere sath SX karke chala gaya.
Santa: Tumne use roka nahi?
Jeeto: Bahut kaha rukne k liye, bola kal phir aaunga.

Ek Bar ek shaitan uperwale se bola mujhe sab se khubsurat bana taki mai sunder ladkiyon ka khoon pee saku, uperwala haskar bola ja tujhe ''WHISPAR"  bana diya.

70 yr old man: Doc meri age mein SX style kya hona chahiye?
Doc: Doggy style.
Man: Aapka matlab peeche se…?
Doc: Nahin, sirf suungh aur chaat k.

Namaskar aaj ka taapmaan 44 degree hone ki sambhavana hai. Kripaya apni girlfriend ki bra me baraf daal k rakhe varna doodh fatney ka khatra hai.